An ode to HIM – memories and more

I woke up at 6am yesterday morning with a weird nudging feeling that I couldn’t put my hands on after being plagued by weird dreams for the past few weeks. So I got up being slightly up beat and all that jazz to start off my day. Important note to myself is that I wake up being slightly happier.

Anywho…Headed into the shower with that feeling not going away so I decided to check my phone (as I usually do) after my shower to see what the world was doing.


BAM!!! I saw this after being informed by the Australian HIMfidels…


My heart wasn’t ready for this. So undoubtedly, this was my reaction.

Sure, you’d think that they’d split when you and the band members are much older, perhaps in the next 15 years or so. I never expected it to be this year. And so sudden…

But thinking back, I knew something was wrong when their supposed album never came out at the end of 2016. Ya’ll know shiz was happening when they missed the December 2016 deadline. And they almost never miss a deadline.

It took me 15 minutes to snap out of my memories of the band and what they meant to me over the years. Cue the temporary brain numbness. Once everything sank in…it got me thinking.

Instead of getting moppy and all that jazz, Imma be grateful for the years that they’ve given to all of us with that awesomely radtastic music that has inspired many. Plus…ain’t nobody got time for being moppy. It takes up too much energy for me to be moppy and weepy like a little baby.

So here’s 10 things I’m thankful and grateful to HIM for..

1. They helped me cope with life

Teenage angst and unresolved childhood trauma during your teenage years does something to you. So generally, you would have a hard time coping with things.

That and also the fact that if you were 115kg at age 15, had very low self esteem, had a friends backstab you, got your heart broken in the worst imaginable way and under daily family pressure to do well in your studies and life (we’re talking Asian level pressure), things are bound to feel like shit. Then HIM came along unexpectedly and made life that much easier and happier for me. Heck, i slept to their music, started my day with them, and even memorised their songs word for word. *pats back for personal accomplishment*

They made me feel like i could do anything and be anyone i wanted to be. Which takes me to the next point…

2. They made me fall in love with the magic of words and arts

Ever taken the time to lis1en to the lyrics of their songs? There are some that are so ‘complex’ with symbolisms that you’d have to do a mini research. Hahahaha them words are like magic.

As for my fascination of the arts, I never knew that I LOVED writing and sketching before i heard about HIM. Sure, I was good with words but I never started to actually delve into the lovely world of construction and imagination the way I did. Magic is all it was. MAGIC. I’m talking David Bowie as Jareth kind of swirly whirly crystal ball type of magic. Mmmmm Jareth….

I started dabbling into writing and sketching as a form of therapy. It then lead me to try other things such as creating jewelry and dancing. So much fun for the introverted me. *cheeky grin*

3. They helped me to understand and accept differences in others.

This speakes for itself. No words to explain this because if I did it might just be a PhD Thesis that I could send for an instant Doctorate. Wait…not a bad idea actually… *
strokes chin*

4. They helped me find and accept my individuality

I always felt different. But by listening to their songs, i felt that it was okay to be who i was. Sure, it took years. But slowly and surely, i found myself. Such cliche. Much wowness. Hahahahaha

5. I met amazing friends around the world because of their music

I’ve met THE most amazing groups of people i still call friends to this day. From being friends online to meeting them in person, no other band i like has the power to bring people together as much as HIM could. Well…in my opinion of course. From my Aussie friends (shout out to the HIMfidels) to those in the states, Finland and other corners of the world, i love you guys! You’re all like family to me. 😀

6. I met one of my besties because of my love of HIM and Finland

Pretty much. Hehehee Hi Marica! I’ll be visiting soon enough! 125 Days to go!!!

7. I found other great bands from Finland that i eventually fell in love with

Without HIM, I would not have heard of other Finnish bands like The 69 Eyes, Nightwish, Negative, Lovex, Hevisaurus (Shout out to Dinosaur metal!) and so many other bands. My collection of CDs are proof of that. And they’re soooooo good. It was well worth the money i spent on those CDs. Hahahahha

Image result for take my money

8. They stopped me taking my own life.

So ummmm this gets serious here. Though it does ends in Rainbows. hehehe

Only a few people know about this. VERY few since I don’t like sharing my personal life. But it’s about time that I shared it with the world as to why HIM means so much to me. There was a time when things were so hard – emotionally and mentally, that there wasn’t much hope and purpose for me to live. I didn’t have anyone close that I could talk to and it was pretty much hell in my head which is never a good thing. I went by day by day living like i was slowly dying. If you know me as the person I am today, you’d definitely think that i was a whole other person back then. I was a ticking time bomb waiting for someone to pull the pin.

On the day that i had actually planned on taking my life, i kept seeing their videos being played on TV. And if you think about it, being in Malaysian Borneo that was rare for a Finnish band to be playing on constant repeat on TV. I don’t know what it was about their song that was playing but that got to me somewhere deep inside. Those negative feelings slowly ebbed away the more I listened to them. Divine intervention was what I call it. God was listening to my prayers for a sign and he gave it to me just when I needed it.

If it wasn’t for their song being played on TV that day and through divine intervention by God for making the channel play that song out of all the days in the year, I wouldn’t be here today writing this and living a life that I never knew I would be living if I had ended it back when I could.

Sure, every once in awhile since then I do get severely depressed but HIM was always there (along with great friends) to pull me through those times with their music. Looking back, I was glad I found their music the way I did. It’s one of the very few things in life that makes me smile when i think back on them.

Which is why I am constantly trying to make others around me happy and listen to their problems because you never know who needs a smile or even a listening ear.

And here’s a Rainbow for all you people after that depressing piece.

Image result for spongebob rainbow happiness meme

Rainbows are life. 

9. I found my way back to God.

Weird as it may sound, I found my way and strengthen my belief and faith in God through HIM. I’m Catholic so some might find it really weird that a band all the way from Finland with a logo with a mix of a pentagram and heart combined would help me find my way back to God.

But hey! It did. Like I said in point #8, I was in a bad place when I was younger and listening to them acted like therapy and was like a band aid for years to keep stuff from going over board again.

If God was doing those mysterious things that he likes to do, well this was one of them.

Plus, it was through their songs that I learned to value things around me. I can’t describe the exact words but yeah…CAN I GET AN AMEEEEENNNN?!!??  HALLELUJAH EEEERRRDDAAYY~!

10. They are just awesome. Period.

Really. All around one of the best bands that I grew up on. Dude, even their singer could reach godly vocal ranges especially the lower ranges. I kid you not. There’s a video up on YouTube. Pretty rad stuff. Then there’s Linde, Burton, Mige, Kosmo, Gas and all the past members of HIM. They tore down the house everywhere and every single time they played. Without them, HIM would not be the amazing band that they are.

I was very fortunate to have seen them live when I was studying in Sydney. Either the Law of Attraction or my Karma points were working on overdrive that time, but I still happy and grateful that I got to meet them.

So here’s to HIM! THANK YOU for all the memories that you’ve given!!! And so much more that you would never know from not only myself but others as well. Wishing you all the best of luck on all of your future projects!

If you can make it for their concert while they’re still touring, please GO!!! It’ll be a bittersweet/the best time of your life. hehehehehehe


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Sarawakian born and raised closet fairy-hippy-goth with a passion and love for all things random, cute and downright senseless with a pinch of beauty and artsy fartsy-ness thrown in the mix. Lover of travelling and exploring, I enjoy spending time creating new things from art, fashion and writing. in hopes of one day showing the world what I love to create and to possibly spread the love around like a glitter shower out of a glitter canon.

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